I popped into Tesco today and nicked all the baguettes.
It was a French stick-up.
I went out with a cardboard cut-out once. She dumped me though, because I stood her up.
Q/ Why is Peter Pan always flying?
A/ Because he neverlands.
f(x)=2x+1 walks into a bar. The barman says
“I’m sorry, we don’t cater for functions.”
I bought some lovely German Christmas cake yesterday, but it was stollen this morning.
An E-flat, a G-flat, and a B-flat walk into a bar. The bartender says
“Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
Q/ Who lives at number 664?
A/ The neighbour of the beast.
Q/ What was Whitney Houston’s favourite kind of co-ordination?
A/ Haaaannnnd eeeyyyeeee…
Q: What is Dean Martin’s favourite eel?
A: That’s a moray.